Sunday, November 14, 2010

Friends Can Make You or Break You Part II

II Samuel 13:1-20 "And it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her. And Amnon was so vexed, that he fell sick for his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and Amnon thought it hard for him to do anything to her." 

At this point in the story we see that Amnon had a problem, a sin problem. We see Amnon do what most of us do when we have something bothering us, he went to talk to his friend. Here is where things get out of hand.

"But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David's brother: and Jonadab was a very subtil man. And he said unto him, Why art thou, being the king's son, lean from day to day? wilt thou not tell me? And Amnon said unto him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister. And Jonadab said unto him, Lay thee down on thy bed, and make thyself sick: and when thy father cometh to see thee, say unto him, I pray thee, let my sister Tamar come, and give me meat, and dress the meat in my sight, that I may see it, and eat it at her hand. So Amnon lay down, and made himself sick: and when the king was come to see him, Amnon said unto the king, I pray thee, let Tamar my sister come, and make me a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat at her hand. Then David sent home to Tamar, saying, Go now to thy brother Amnon's house, and dress him meat. So Tamar went to her brother Amnon's house; and he was laid down. And she took flour, and kneaded it, and made cakes in his sight, and did bake the cakes. And she took a pan, and poured them out before him; but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, Have out all men from me. And they went out every man from him. And Amnon said unto Tamar, Bring the meat into the chamber, that I may eat of thine hand. And Tamar took the cakes which she had made, and brought them into the chamber to Amnon her brother. And when she had brought them unto him to eat, he took hold of her, and said unto her, Come lie with me, my sister. And she answered him, Nay, my brother, do not force me; for no such thing ought to be done in Israel: do not thou this folly. And I, whither shall I cause my shame to go? and as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, I pray thee, speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee. Howbeit he would not hearken unto her voice: but, being stronger than she, forced her, and lay with her. Then Amnon hated her exceedingly; so that the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her. And Amnon said unto her, Arise, be gone."


We see here the friendship of Amnon and Jonadab which was quite different than that of David and Jonathan. The Bible says calls Jonadab subtle or cunning, crafty. In other words this guy was somewhat of a con, someone inclined to trouble. When Amnon was depressed Jonadab encouraged him to sin, he even devised a plan of how to do it. Instead of rebuking Amnon’s lust for his sisterTamar, he encourages him to rape her. All of this horrible sin goes back to verse 3 “But Amnon had a friend…” If Amnon had never talked to Jonadab he might not have committed this horrible sin. Had Amnon had a friend like Jonathan who would have pointed him away from sin and towards God he could have possibly turned his life around. Jonadab is a horrible example of a true friend, he can hardly be considered a friend at all. A true friend has the other’s best interest in mind. Jonadab did not have Amnon’s best interest in mind when he encouraged Amnon’s sin. Jonadab didn’t look to protect Amnon or help him to become a better person, rather he brought out the worst in him. He encouraged him to fulfill his own sinful and fleshly pleasures.

Don’t ever underestimate the influence your friends have on you; good or bad.
The famous saying “A man is known by the company he keeps” proves very true. Friends can make you or break you. Be very careful of the influences you allow into your life.

Two friendships, two entirely different effects. Jonathan and David were very close and drew each other closer to God, they each put the needs of each other before their own. Jonadab and Amnon didn’t seem to be that close and certainly didn’t encourage each other to go to God. David went to Jonathan and Jonathan saved his life on multiple occasions. Amnon went to Jonadab and ended up getting murdered by his own brother soon after.

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